Early last year, Dimitri in Belgium joined us in the CSI cancer forum, to seek information and advice for his mother, Irčne, who had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. From the first moment, we were captivated by his powerful love for Irčne, and his determination to be there for her. His love for her was so contagious, we have all come to love her too.
At first, Dimitri was terrified for her. When she received treatment, he (and we) began to hope, and held on to that hope for a long time.
Suddenly, two months ago, things took a turn for the worse. Finally, this last Monday, she was hospitalized, and the doctors said she only had about six weeks left. Thursday, Irčne died.
I am choosing not to give a distanceful after-the-fact eulogy as would be read in the church, nor statistics of how many unknown strangers have died each year. I don't know the words to tell you why, but it's important to me to give you this experience from Dimitri's heart, as it happened, and to give you our experience in the forum, as we held hands across the oceans.
-- Lehua, November 22, 1997
From Dimitri to all of us, December 6, 1996:
A long time ago, I joined this forum to tell you about my mother having breast cancer detected.
Now, seven months later, she had her last chemo session. I am so happy for her that this first challenge is done now. She did quite well, actually.
She became really sick only the two last ones, not the ultimate one. She lost about 50% of her hair but when you know her you don't notice it. Eyesbrows also disappeared and she suffered two weeks of severe inside mouth injuries due to over-reaction to one chemical used.
Love and care from all her friends, people she knows and all the family, her sons and husbands did help her a lot.
Anytime she was in pain, there has always been someone. I discovered a real new father in that time. I noticed they did love each other but at that extent, it is so warm welcome. I also never noticed how much I loved her and how much she loved me. She changed, everyone changed.
If you have a friend, a family member or just someone you know or even maybe you don't know yet, don't forget to stand there, at his or her side. She or he will need every minute of the comfort of loving and caring.
Nurses and doctors ( but one ) were great too and helped her a lot.
I also forced her to wear the ICE CAP when she got of medication. Did it help or was it just the products used, I don't know...but give a try.
In her name,
To all of us, April 03, 1997:
It has been a while since I visited this great place. Sorry about that.
I just want to share good news on the healing process of my mother's
She is now under rays ( cobalt ) and will get gammas next week.
She has been tested fine. Cancer is said to be gone.
She took all her courage and when she didn't have any we all gave her ours to help to go through all this.
She has now 2nd degree burns from the rays. Doctors told it was normal but it's painful.
Next May, it will be over.
I do really hope that all of you will also find such a great issue.
And to the family, close people, friends....never forget how much we
the ill in such grave days...even a little done can have a great
All the best to all of you,
In October, Irčne became very ill. There was an outpouring of love to Dimitri and his family, but we were all afraid. It was clear that the prognosis was very bad. Dimitri continued to be positive and loving, in spite of this turn in the road.
To Lehua, October 21, 1997:
Love will always be stronger than any cancer.
All the best to you,
To Jenise, October 22, 1997:
My mother is doing better today as the breathe is easier. She still
cough a lot and her neck is still much in pain. Doctor expected some
improvement in two days.
Thursday, we'll have the results for her neck X-rays and know if it is all about "being old" or just that demoniac cancer.
She is at home and we forced her to bed, for rest. She needs it as she has to take a lot of side effected medication.
Anyway, I'll give her a copy of all the mails so she know that somewhere in the world people fight as she does.
All the best to you
To Harriet, October 22, 1997:
Thanks for your prays, even though I have a lack of faith in any prayer now... I am sure someone somewhere is watching her.
If you have any question, feel free to ask.
Anyway, till soon,
Lots of courage to you, it is worth to fight, I am now sure for her
To Lehua, November 12, 1997:
She is now getting double doses of morphine. They bring bottles of oxygen too. She can stay at home for now. The doctors would have liked to take her already in hospital but thanks our house doctor she can stay a while at home.
Her situation is worsening very fast and she can hardly find enough air after one or two steps. Even standing is too heavy. It is so sad.
I managed to have a good deep talk with her. Open hearts. I feel so much "better" now after that.
It is no longer the pain of having nothing said but the guess soon I will not have my dear mum next to me when I need her. I promised her to help my father true all this.
Anyway, I do my best. All the family is together around her. Her wishes are being fulfilled. That is what counts now.
To Sandra, November 13, 1997:
I have so many good memories about everything including this last year.
I told her that.
All the best to you,
To all of us, November 19, 1997:
I had to call the 100 ( US = 911 ) and have taken her to the hospital. She almost die in front of my father and I.
It is so hard...
The doctor told her she still has one up to 6 weeks to live.
To all of us, November 20, 1997:
I thank you all for all the support you gave me and her along those difficult times.
I hope so much this has moved you the way it has me. I hope we all continue to respect the ferocity and reality of this horror we call cancer. Yes, people are still dying from breast cancer.
|Top||Lehua's Life & Death|
|LehuaNet Cancer Fighters' Gateway|
|Contact||If you need or want to talk about your visit here, please E-mail me at Lehua@LehuaNet.com|
|©Lehua||©Site by LehuaNet|
©All graphics by LehuaNet
|All rights reserved.|
|Please do not use any of these images or graphics|
To request permission, E-mail LehuaNet.